Survivors of the Z’s- Rhonda Gedling, Motel Liz, outside Colorado
We faced horror
We had faced death
We had faced it all
Now things were quiet. Things weren’t what it was. We had driven far
Now we had stopped off at a motel in the middle of nowhere.
A subdued environment to clear our heads and figure out the next step. I stood outside and gazed at the long road we had spent hours on, the floor painted by the sun, open fields in front of me with distant mountains.
“Did you sleep well?” I heard
I looked around and saw my sister standing at the door.
My smile was effete, “not really… you?”
She came and joined me. Stood next to me and looked out into the open.
“Not really, impossible to”
“Screw it,” I said, I took out a cigarette, lit it and smoked it, Elaine gave me a look, “not now, sis”
“I was going to ask you for one”
I was shocked
Reason being because she hadn’t smoked for awhile. Longer than me actually. She had stopped six years ago. Me being four.
“Wow, you haven’t smoked for along time,” I said
“The worlds fucked, why not?”
“We don’t know that”
I gave her one. I lit hers for her and we both blew out the poison together into the warm break- of- day- breeze.
“Ashford is a shambles, it’s spread across the entire world, no news about a cure, no news just bad news about more people getting ill, more people being eaten alive…” she paused and looked my way, “we’re fucked, so I’m gonna smoke”
A bit of wind blew and a bit of dirt blew toward us from the floor. It felt like a sign really.
Actually was at that moment. A piece of dirt that had wrapped itself around you and continued to choke you whilst tying your legs together in a strong hold. That’s how it felt, so it fit.
“Just goes to show,” I said, “old habits are the best habits”
“We suck at keeping promises that’s for sure, to ourselves anyway”
We heard the door open. Heard a voice that would never cease to grab my heart in a bad way.
“You girls been out here all this time?” Mom asked
“Yeah,” I said
I blew out more poison and imagined her face as the smoke. I could draw it. That’s how long the image had stayed with me. Until the smoke passed on, but I’d never forget it.
Smoke and mirrors
She was just using us of course. Using us to save her own skin.
I had to do it for Elaine. Until she found out for herself that is that our mom was
A wet dollar note that is only useful to buy cheap soda.
“So quiet out here,” mom observed, “its hard to think that the world is turning to shit”
I got fed up of all the negativity. I got fed up of mom.
Shook my head
And walked away from it. I couldn’t cope with it. I already felt unassured.
That if I was brought down any further I was afraid that I might just…
“Where are you going?” Elaine asked
I answered, not turning to answer, “Just for a walk”
“Aren’t we leaving soon?”
“I’m in no rush”
The area was Desolate. Nobody around. You saw somebody sometimes.
Cleaning rooms to get them ready for the next guest. It felt great that I was able to just venture out without nobody asking questions.
To some extent no people other than cleaners coming in and out of rooms
It was just me clearing my head on a delicious walk with the sun.
Thoughts passing my mind. Passing my eyes. Thoughts leading to thoughts that told me everything was going to be alright.
We’d find a way. A way to get us out of this mess.
A cure maybe?
Something that would give us hope. Other wonders led to me watching my sister die in some kind of tragedy hit scenery. Getting jumped
By those things
Me managing to escape whilst Elaine was jumped on.
Her shouting help me help me. It was enough for me to bash them thoughts away and concentrate on the present.
I turned myself back on. Straight into the now and looked upon the fields of emptiness. Nothing in sight for miles. Usually you see the outlines of a city.
But not from there
It was serenity at its finest
I looked behind me and a man. About my age.
Began walking toward me. As he got closer I noticed how tired he looked. He smiled my way and stood next to me, his tanned skin glowed in the son.
He was cute I guess…
“Deep thoughts?” He asked
His voice caring, seductive.
I looked his way, smiled, and looked back at the vista, “Oh, yeah I guess”
“There’s a lot going on”
He was just a little bit taller than me.
“The world collapsing before our very eyes don’t you mean?” I said
He nodded, “that too, the other being a beautiful woman standing before me”
I looked his way.
The look was longer