Survivors of the Z’s- Teddy Baker, Bricksford, London
The rain pounded my windows and the noise decimated my ears. I was alone. Desolate. Nobody insight. Just me
We had recently split. On a break. As she called it. Well, I knew what she really meant. It was just an excuse to escape my so- called- psychotic ways. I’m not what you call
The question is though.
What is… NORMAL?
Is it a tree that grows from under the ground? Is it a planet with a moon and sun? Is it a person with one head and two hands? Could normal ever be something with two heads? I was used to hearing noises. Hearing them shout me if they couldn’t get to sleep. Having my wife moan at me because I didn’t do something that she asked me to the day before. Go shopping or clean up something or whatever. I missed that. My daughter.
Six years old. My little missy. Her teddy- bear who she named Ronald. Yeah. Why Ronald. The child was so random but it even made my hair giggle.. And then there was my son.
The older of the two. Loved his computers. Loved his puzzles and everything else that had a problem that needed solving. He wasn’t like the other lads his age.
He was different. Not the same. Not like me anyway when I was his age. He loved his solitude. His own company.
Not like any kid. I missed them all. Well, not her anyway. She was the bitch that took them away from me. Away from my presence.
Everything I did was always for them. My KIDS
It was midnight. Pitch black and all I could hear was the rain punching my house. My living room. Which I sat in on the big leather sofa where we all used to sit and watch films on film night. It was every Saturday and today was that day. But the TV wasn’t on. It was just me and my crazy mind.
“You mental fuck,” I said
I was mad at myself for telling her what I thought about the world. About the whole system. The government. About everything. I also told her about these rumours that I heard from my friends. Rumours that they had seen something on the Internet. Videos and pictures. From the US. Videos and pictures of people eating one and other. Pictures of body parts and gross images of people being torn apart…
But when I went to show her. They weren’t there anymore. They were gone. Deleted… Vanished. Which made me look even more crazy and that was that after. She was gone after I had come from my long twelve hour shift at the warehouse. The wardrobes were left open and bits and pieces that they didn’t need were left on the floor. Leaving me to sit there and stare in anger and tears.
“Your future is a lonely old man,” I said
I got up. Walked over to the mirror and stared a hole through myself. The more I looked. The more I thought the image was going to jump out at me and strangle me to death. Have you ever been that mad that your own face scared you? That’s what it was like. Then I thought.
Is that how I made them feel?
“You were right,” I heard a voice
I looked around and nothing was there. I looked in the mirror and there it was. Talking back at me.
“You were right, do you understand me?”
I was in dreamland. Surely. Non of this was happening. To me. At that moment. I winced my eyes and pulled a face of disbelief. My mirrored self then grinned an evil grin.
“You’re going to get everything and that is your kids, they’re your kids, they aren’t just her’s, they’re yours as well! Don’t let her take them away from you you pussy, those videos were real and you know that”
“How’re you speaking?” I asked, but in a polite way, a scared way, a shocked… way, ” What the hell is going on? Why am I talking to myself?”
Or whatever it was
Could even finish. The mirror was smashed and it was just me once again. Not knowing what was happening. Not knowing what the future held for me. A man that was slowly becoming something that was being hammered into him by others. A psycho. Mentally unstable.
The moments that had changed my life were the moments I had witnessed.
The violent scenes that were happening in the US. The disease that supposed to have turned people insane.
I find out these people were eating other people. Then, to tell my wife about this who already thought I was losing the plot. It just dug a hole that was too deep for our love to climb out. She didn’t trust me anymore. The love was lost. My life was nothing but
A darkened room
A darkened mind