Rhonda Gedling Season 2 Episode Seven

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Survivors of the Z’s- Rhonda Gedling, outside Colorado

The road was blank and it felt like I was driving blind with a blindfold wrapped around my eyes. I could’nt get it off. No matter how much I tried. I just couldn’t get the fucking thing off.
The car was silent on the long road to nowhere.
Left
Right
Up
Down
The options were open and each option probably had shit on the road and the shit was impossible to avoid. You was going to tread in it either way. Doesn’t matter how far you stretched your leg. The space it covered was too broad and the blindfold was on me.
So either way
I was done for
That’s how I felt
   “Do you know where we’re going?”
   “No,” I told, “can’t go back to New York”
She turned on the radio and incredibly a signal was still live. It played music that weirdly explained the way our lives were at that moment. The guitar was murky and slow and the only thing to go with the guitar was the dreary low sounding voice of the female singer. I could’ve closed my eyes and just listened to the song give me a sensation of darkness with no lights what so ever. When you feel a song, do you just want to blacken your vision and sit in an empty room with no other noises and just listen? That was me at that moment. Unfortunately I was driving and if I did that I would’ve ended not just mine, but my mom’s also. It’s not like we had anything to live for now. With a sky that was readying to rain skin. It was only a matter of time before we came into contact with those beasts once again.
   “Such a sad song,” she said
The landscape was blank. A blank canvas where I wished I could’ve taken my home from New York and place it right there and then.
My little Kingdom
My fortress
The place where I dreamt those dreams where I led a normal life.
I was the woman I wanted to be
I had a husband with beautiful children…
I just wanted it back.
   “It makes sense to how things are going,” I said
   “Lets change the channel, I feel like slitting my fucking wrists”
   “No, leave it, I like this song”
   “Ok, if you kill yourself later don’t blame me”
The crack of the window with the dried splattered blood faced me. It gave me the flashbacks that I desperately wanted to get rid of. The moment we rescued Mom
The moment we were surrounded by the diseased and everywhere I looked somebody was fighting for their lives and then the moment. The moment where the infected man jumped on to the front of the car.
His stare
His…
Bleeding eyes
It felt like they had grabbed my lungs and pressed hard on them. It was a moment that I wanted to forget, but the cracked window with the splattered dry blood
Unfortunately
Wouldn’t allow that
We drove and drove and drove with nothing passing us by. Nothing but a blank canvas with mountains in the distance.
And then
   “Hey, do you see that?” She said
I looked and saw an RV parked up at the side of the road. I kept looking and a sudden blast of a gun sounded. I jumped with fright. A thin bearded man of average height then came out with a shot gun. His shirt was ripped and blood was doused all over it. I stopped the car not so far away and gazed at him.
   “What’re you doing?” Mom asked, “Rhonda, answer me, this guy looks crazy, what ever you’re thinking forget about it, Rhonda, please”
His back was against the RV now. He began banging his head against it.
And then
He began to bawl
He then breathed and took the shotgun and placed it underneath his chin
   “No,” I said, “hey!!”
I got out the car and shouted
   “Rhonda, no!” Mom cried
   “Hey!” I begged
   “Get away from me!” He told
You may be thinking that the decision I had made was wreckless
Stupid
But, I had a feeling that said otherwise. A feeling where I had to try and stop him. You might’ve left him to it, but me. That’s not the way I am. Have you ever looked at somebody. You might not have known them. It could be somebody walking passed you or something like that and you get a feeling when you catch their gaze. The feeling of.
The person is strong, weak, crazy or kind. I’ve always gotten that feeling with people
And
That guy didn’t tick the box of crazy. Not ticking the box of crazy leads to me not being in any danger what’s so ever.
   “You don’t want to do this,” I said
   “Get the fuck away from me”
He pointed the gun at me.
Yes
He pointed the gun at me.
Maybe I was wrong?
Maybe I had led myself into this moment?
Maybe I wanted to find this guy who I believed wasn’t crazy?
Maybe
Just…
MAYBE
I wanted him to shoot me. I wasn’t really in the greatest of mindsets to be judging people’s personalities.
I heard the car door slam behind me and my Mom shouting.
   “Rhonda!”
In an echo, but I just kept walking toward him. I didn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. Just pull the fucking trigger already and get it over with and let me see my sister again.
   I put my arms up into the air, “go on, pull it!”
I closed my eyes…
The trigger was pulled

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