Survivors of the Z’s – Teddy Baker, Bromley, outside Wales
MANY YEARS AGO-
I was angry
I was frustrated
I was at a work due
Not my kind of thing, but you know, I went. I went and showed my face.
Into a place where I hated, but I still went. WHY? Because I was pressured I guess. They kept asking me and asking me and asking me. OH! Come on Teddy, it’ll only be us five and a few others. Lieing son of a bitches. There were more than
There were loads of them
Loads of faces I didn’t know
And loads of faces I did know
And those are the faces I could’nt stand
I don’t want to be here?
I can’t stand this
Should I leave?
I’m here now, so I might as well fucking stay and get obliterated.
I struggled to move passed the ocean of people. The pub was packed solid and all I could do was roam around looking like a fool. Trying to find my work colleagues who
Got me into this shit hole
It was muggy and it smelled
“Where the fuck are you?” I muttered
I could’nt hear my own voice, so they would’nt be able to hear it either. It didn’t matter how loud I shouted. My friends would’nt of fucking heard me.
I got onto my tip toes and searched around. I wore a white, kind of snazzy shirt, with jeans and a good pair shoes. My hair was combed over nicely. I put in some really good effort. I was in my early twenties. That’s what you do right? It doesn’t matter how high the level of reluctancy is. You still make an effort to look good.
How ever you want to put it. I didn’t know what my face said though at that point of searching for my friends through the waves of maybe half drunk people. I probably looked like a seriel killer. I probably looked like I didn’t want to be in the pub that was ravaged with alcohol fueled breaths, but like I said. I was there now, so fuck it.
“Teddy!” I heard, “Teddy, Teddy!”
I looked around
Three hundred and sixty degreeds and noticed him, the son of the man who owned the pub. My closest friend. The guy that I had the most in common with. Anthony Jenkins. We had our history. Going back since school. We even had a few nights out together where we ended up sharing the same bed. We didn’t pull that night. I think it was his eighteenth or something. So, we ended up just fucking each other.
I can still remember that night.
Coming back to the London hotel room early hours in the morning.
Legs all over the place
I felt like I was being controlled by player one and he was player two. We both collapsed on to the same bed. I looked up and so did he and then that was that. He leant in. Grabbed the back of my head and brought me in.
Back to the night
I fought my way through the crowd. Aiming for the familiar face that was, Anthony. He was a good looking guy. Sharply dressed.
Smooth skin and curly brown hair
Still thinking about him now gives me good vibes.
“Come on, Teddy!” He shouted, he waved crazily
More people I fought passed.
Women masked in makeup. Some looked at me up and down. Some bad looks. Some looks saying, oh hi, you wanna fuck? I wasn’t interested. NOT. ONE. BIT. I just wanted to get to my friends and get into the comfort zone.
Anthony came up to me, “my main man, Mr Teddy Baker, welcome to my castle!”
They were all at the pool table, Leonard, my other closest friend put a pound on the table, “Teddy boy!”
“Hello lads,” I said
“You alright mate,” Anthony said
“You look like you wanna kill somebody”
“I can’t stand most of these people, I thought it was just going to be us lot”
“Oh yeah, you know what it’s like, word gets round mate!”
“Well it’s good to see you anyway!” I looked at the pool table and placed a pound down, “I’ll play the winner!”
Anthony put his arm around me
“You wanna drink?!”
“Please mate!” I said
“double vodka and coke!”
“You never change!”
It was my favourite drink. Always did the trick. Sprouted my confidence and got me talking more.
“Neither do you!”
We locked eyes for a bit. He quickly broke the gaze and left to fetch the drinks. I turned to face the pool and saw a gigantic man looking over at me in a dark corner. He wouldn’t take his eyes off me. I looked back to the table and felt the burn of his stare
“Who’s he?” I asked Leonard
“Him by the corner”
“Oh, ignore him mate, he’s a right prick, don’t even look at him”
I did what I was told and directed my gaze somewhere else, but I still felt his burning stare
We had been walking for a long time now. The sticks crunched beneath our feet as we walked through the nest of trees, bushes and plants. Wind blew them just a little and the trees and bushes swayed a little. Making a noise that could calm any soul. I looked up at the tall trees and watched the leafs blow in the earth’s breath.
“Teddy!” I heard
I looked down and saw Elijah walking towards a car. Jack and Lianne walked to the side of me. What I saw was a cottage covered in vines to our side. It was beautiful. It was in the middle of nowhere. Out of the way of everything.
I got closer and noticed the door was open.
I started to feel uneasy.
“Kids, stay with me”
Elijah looked in the car and so did I. The back door was open. A baby was in the back seat, but it wasn’t a live. It’s face was a mess. Like it had been chewed off. I moved my kids away and winced at the sight of it. Elijah threw up.
“Oh man,” he said, “this is fucked up”
A noise then appeared from the house…